What's John Eating . com

Suck it, Haters!

John — Mon, 01 Apr 2013 22:05:59 +0000

I just received my annual lab work back from the blood tests I had run earlier this year:

So everyone who is always giving me a hard time with my high protein / high fat diet, and those who ask how many heart attacks I’ve had, and to everyone who always asks if I would like a side of Lipitor with my bacon and eggs, you can all suck it! :)

I’m having a homemade Eggwich for supper!

Aspartame

John — Sun, 31 Mar 2013 22:16:05 +0000

Weight Loss Breakfast

John — Sun, 03 Mar 2013 17:36:18 +0000

My pre-workout breaky this morning.

Bacon chunks fried up crispy with 4 eggs poached in the bubbling grease!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Smoky Bacon Bloody Mary

John — Mon, 11 Feb 2013 17:10:01 +0000

I saw this on Facebook today! Recipe at: BettyCrocker.com

Easy Hot Wings

John — Sun, 15 Jul 2012 06:31:26 +0000

Step 1: Par-fry up wing sections in a generous amount of bacon grease.

Step 2: Dunk the wings in your favorite buffalo sauce.

Step 3: Spread out the dunked wings on a baking sheet covered in foil. Bake the wings at 350 for ten minutes them flip them and bake 10 minutes more or until no longer pink – unless you like your chicken pink.

Step 4: Then serve them up with some pineapple spears to cool down your burning tongue!

Steak and Eggs

John — Sat, 14 Jul 2012 13:11:12 +0000

My breakfast today was simple. I heated a couple of tablespoons of fresh bacon grease in a cast iron skillet over a high gas flame. Then I seared a thin-cut flattened ribeye on both sides. Next I used the hot grease to fry/poach three eggs.

Then I trimmed the eggs with a spatula before placing them over the steak. Finally, I disgusted CJ by smothering them in ribbons of low-carb ketchup. After gorging myself on this delicious protein fest I relaxed with a large mug of Bulletproof (buttery) Coffee.

Bacon and Scallops

John — Sat, 14 Jul 2012 01:41:16 +0000

I was down to my last slice of super thick bacon so I decided to cube it up and flash-fry some small scallops in the grease. I added a little spicy cajun seasoning and a dash of salt. Perfection!

Lunch at Logan’s Roadhouse

John — Fri, 13 Jul 2012 16:34:41 +0000

One of the perils of the business world is that I am constantly involved in working lunches at some restaurant filled with high-carb temptations. Today, I was able to get back on plan and finally avoid those lethal tuna fish sandwiches that haunted me all week! My business lunch selection was from Logan’s Roadhouse. I ignored the tortilla strips and corn, but felt pretty good about the protein and salad choice.

Kickin’ Logan’s Chickin’ Salad

WTF! Tuna?

John — Fri, 13 Jul 2012 03:12:58 +0000

Life has become extremely stressful as of late and I have turned to my favorite coping mechanism, eating. In addition to increasing the bacon poundage and eggs consumed each day, I have found myself craving tuna. That’s right, TUNA FISH! I crave tuna in a can, tuna steak, tuna salad, tuna on a plate, ( I read too much Dr. Seuss as a kid) and most of all tuna sandwiches. As my stress level has gone up, so have my cravings. I heard a psychiatrist on the radio talking about how people during extremely stressful times usually self medicate at home with alcohol. I wish! Apparently, I self medicate with tuna, then wash it down with alcohol.

The scene tonight was no different for me than it was yesterday and the day before. I have repeated it over and over recently at gas stations, grocery stores, and roadside tuna stands. Everywhere I look cruel addictive tuna calls my name. Tonight, I find myself in a convenience store sneaking a tuna sandwich and a diet Pepsi at 10:30 PM, knowing the whole time that in 15 minutes I will be hating myself for eating the wheat… But it doesn’t matter, today was uber-stressful for me. I’m jones’n hard for that soggy bread with that wet fishy mayo mess squished in the middle! And now that I look at this picture, where the f*ck did those chips come from?! Is tuna the gateway drug to more carbs???

As if I don’t feel bad enough, I know that tomorrow I will be punished twice for my behavior. First the scale will laugh at me and remind me what a colossal failure I will always be. Then, I will open my email and several perfect paleo goddesses who apparently only eat green grass will have written me scathing emails telling me what a failure I am and that I should remove all references to the word “paleo” from my website because a real caveman would never eat a tuna sandwich! Let me beg to differ with these paleo police bitches in advance and that way I can just delete their emails in the morning…

First, I only wish there was a way to transport these cave-queens back to the paleo era, just so they could get dragged around by their hair! Who says a caveman wouldn’t have a tuna sandwich? I mean, the only reason that they didn’t eat tuna was that they LIVED IN CAVES and tuna really prefer water as I understand it. I’ll bet if I showed the items in the picture to the Geico cave dude he would gobble them up without hesitation. The fact is that tuna is simply delicious! That’s the main reason I crave it. CJ tells me that I crave tuna because I have a fish deficiency so I should take more fish oil and krill oil. But if that’s the case, why am I craving the sandwich combination? It’s the heroine laced wheat I tell you! Plus maybe I am not getting enough unnatural mercury in my diet? Yes, that’s it, mercury!

If cavemen didn’t eat tuna sandwiches it’s only because their lives were much more simple and stress free compared to mine! Their stress was less because their women were too busy worrying about their hair detaching from their scalps to talk about their dietary selections. I hope tonight was my last tuna bender for a while. I feel satiated at the moment but also quite guilty as my cats stare at me in disgust for not sharing the fishy delight with them. We shall see what tomorrow brings.

Uh oh, I think I am craving french fries…

WordPress Sucks!

John — Fri, 13 Jul 2012 03:11:39 +0000

Today is the first day in over a week I have been able to access my admin page to blog. Hopefully this new upgrade will fix whatever was locking me out! Now, back to the food!